I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
