Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
