pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
