it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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