WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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