atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
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