and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize