love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
