If that was your dad, he is hot
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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