don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
this just has baby written all over it
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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