a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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