12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I can't turn off my feet"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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