Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
