You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
