Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
