i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
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Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
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That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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