How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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