You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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