he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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