sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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