So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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