Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
