yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
