did you get engaged???
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
