if i died would you start the facebook group?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
