giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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