Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
please don't ironically join a cult
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