I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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