I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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