Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize