Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize