you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
