spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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