Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize