I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Fuck appropriateness.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
