I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize