Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
