i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
