Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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