with your own penis?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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