he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.