I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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