I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Sext me about skeletons
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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