I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
