I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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