ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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