I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
God I need to hump something, right now.
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