my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i think i scared a bird with my dick
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
