i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
