Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he was CRYING into my vagina
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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