My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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