She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
