My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
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So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
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My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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