Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
