yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
