Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
They are going to name an STD after you.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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