I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
do nipples grow back?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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