Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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