Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
