No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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