Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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